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Home Cake

I can’t stop searching at Alex Rodriguez’s unhappy birthday cake

by Todd M. Rosborough
April 17, 2025
in Cake
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I can’t stop searching at Alex Rodriguez’s unhappy birthday cake

Normally, I’d never take note of something like this. It’s a cute little time-filler all through a sports broadcast and warrants no similar recognition. Then I noticed an up-close shot of the cake. There are not sufficient hours inside the day to keep the number of questions I even have, approximately this listless, despair birthday cake left to die on a press box desk after A-Rod and J-Lo left the construction. I have those questions because I recognize this cake properly.

I’ve seen its type before. This is a spice cake. It turned into buying from a grocery store, quickly, earlier in the remaining time. It was probably partially frozen, thawed with the assistance of a car seat warmer at the power to a ballpark. Its nondescript message and overwhipped frosting are telltale symptoms of an ultimate-2d buy. The wisest factor anybody did concerning this cake was not longer eat it.

Contents Summary show
Still, I have questions.
This is from your ESPN circle of relatives.
Refrigerate the cake until the icing units, approximately 10 minutes.

Still, I have questions.

I’m assuming J-Lo has a private assistant whose activity it’s miles to address this kind of aspect. Why didn’t they go to a bakery? Commission a cake? Heck, setting a few frosting on a dozen donuts likely would have appeared to find it irresistible took more effort than this glum, moribund sheet cake. Was this simply not deliberate at all? I dare to posit that Lopez had nothing to do with this sorrowful, barren, unhappy sponge.
I need to trust this changed into a last-second manufacturing choice. I cannot fathom that this cake became J-Lo’s doing. Listen intently to that video again. The cake is slightly in the frame, and she, or he’s already subtly telling A-Rod that she had not anything to do with it.

This is from your ESPN circle of relatives.

Humans are a simple bunch. We love taking credit for accurate matters and are quick to make sure we’re blameless when something terrible, like a nondescript sheet cake, happens. She’s letting him realize, in front of the world, that she might by no means deliver this sort of cursed object to him, in particular in honor of his birthday.

Sportswriters will consume peanut butter smeared on a playing card and contact it at lunch. I witnessed someone (who shall no longer be named) make a towering nacho plate out of sliders in the Super Bowl LIII mess corridor. Free meals to sports activities writers are like an open trash can to a military of hungry raccoons. One time, an idiot who works for this site even ate all everything concessions at a promotional event because he has no dignity.

Look, I get it; the corner pieces are a top actual estate for the frosting-conscious cake gourmet; however, going contrary nook for the slice and breaking convention is just bizarre, especially for this cake. I love this attitude because it confirms each suspicion I had about this cake. There’s nothing unique lurking inside—no hidden surprise. Just a bathroom-widespread, dull, white sheet cake with uninspired frosting served room temperature to be wolfed down by folks who value free meals over quality. I close with a brief lesson for ESPN: As someone who is a past life who became responsible for shopping for office desserts, I ought to tell you that cheesecakes are your pal when you want to look like you’re showing effort but still need to shop for it fast from a grocery shop. They feign effort higher and received’t dry out on set.

Refrigerate the cake until the icing units, approximately 10 minutes.

Apply a very last thick coat of icing to the top and the edges, following the steps above, ensuring that the coat is even and smooth. When icing the sides, apply a coat thick enough to cover and disguise the cardboard sphere.. Dipping the spatula into hot water will help create a clean coat. As you ice the pinnacle and sides, a ridge will shape alongside the edge where they meet. After you’ve finished icing, preserve the spatula at an angle and, with a very mild hand, starting at the farthest edge of the cake, smooth the ridge in the direction of the center. Rotate the cake and repeat until the ridge ndoes ot eexist

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Todd M. Rosborough

Todd M. Rosborough

I love trying new restaurants and exploring all the culinary experiences that Los Angeles has to offer. I also enjoy cooking for my family and friends when they visit. I have a B.S. degree in Psychology and a minor in Criminal Justice from California State University Northridge. I have been blogging about food since 2007.

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